A New Home

I am excited to announce that I am starting a new blog. http://livingtension.com is where you will be able to find me from now on. I have decided to stop pulling my punches and writing only about fluffy family stuff (not that that's all together bad) but those of you that know me, know that I have a lot to say, and I think its time for me to crawl out from under my rock and start saying it!

I will still return here from time to time to share some of my favorite posts, but I invite you all to follow me at my new home, where you will get, for better or for worse, the real me!

For the Journey,

Mike

Blackberry or iPhone

A few weeks ago I was notified that I was now eligible for a free upgrade by my cell phone provider. It happened to be memorial day weekend and there we significant deals to be found. For the past year and a half I have been using the Blackjack by Samsung, which has been a great phone. But the battery life had diminished significantly and it was difficult to keep it charged. I have become addicted to the full QWERTY keypad and the large screen for all of the texting that I do.

So I figure that I would simply get the new Blackjack 2, but upon further research, I learned that the Blackberry Curve was the same price as the Blackjack and had many more features. As a former crackberry addict, I was hesitant to return to my old ways, but after much contemplation (and the cost prohibitive iPhone at $499) I decided to go for it with the Blackberry Curve. I couldn't be a more satisfied customer. The past 2 weeks have been wonderful. I have used the TeleNav (GPS) to find restaurants in Vancouver, the blackberry messenger has been a dream to use whenever I want to bother 2 of my best friends and BB users. I am very happy with this phone and with all of the blackberry services. And then Apple made a little announcement...

THE NEW iPHONE is only $199!!!! Crap! This ruins everything! I have wanted and iPhone since they first came out and the only thing that has kept it from me has been the price. Now I can easily save for the iPhone. The question is... should I? I have been weighing the pros and cons between the BB Curve and the Iphone, and I am at an impass.

So, my blog reading community, I ask for help. What do you think I should do? I only have 2 weeks left to return it, so your input is desired quickly!

I can't wait to hear what you have to say....

The God's Aren't Angry

Last November I took some friends and family with me to see Rob Bell on his speaking tour: "The god's aren't angry". The show was at a the Roseland Theater and it was packed out with about 1500 people. Here is a snippet of the DVD.

Breakfast or the Gym?

I am conflicted. I am starting to get back into regular morning workouts.... starting, I said. But this morning a conflict arose that has got me frustrated.

My Dad was available for breakfast which is always a good time, but what to do about the workout? I find it very difficult to eat before the gym, because then you are dragging this meal around with you... and then there's the burps... you know... the aftertaste of partially digested, formerly delicious breakfast. Not fun.

I hope that this is a false dichotomy, that these two important activities really are not in competition with each other, but I am afraid that it is looking more and more as thought they are. Of course I could always get up "earlier" and go to the gym first, which I suppose is the most rational solution. But, with young kids that need attention in the morning it is a crap shoot as to when they will wake up.

So, by the time the gym is an option, breakfast is either out of the question or a convenient excuse. As a breakfast person (and I recognize that you are either breakfast person, or you are NOT) it is frustrating that I have to choose to start my day with either a work out or breakfast.

Don't even get me started about coffee.... some things are just too sacred!

See ya at the gym... or the diner?!?!

Picnic on the Lawn

Greetings Blogosphere! I am sorry that it has been so long since my last post. The past month has been hectic as I finished up my term at school and had a lot going on at work. It has been good to spend some time connecting with the family over the past week.

Somewhere along the way, spring has arrived in Portland. Today was a beautiful day and we had a fun dinner on the front lawn. Nothing like burgers and beer while you watch your kids frolic in the year. Our neighbor commented "now that's a picture perfect family!" I agree completely, and if we hadn't left our camera at a friends house I would prove it!

Looking forward to getting back into the swing of things.

When it rains...

The past couple weeks have been so full I have hardly had time to sit down. With work, school, weekend retreats, and home work, my life has been pretty full. However, things have been going pretty well, and I can't wait till after finals week (which is this week) to get back to normal.

But for now, its time to hit the books, write the papers, and wrap up my classes for this term.

A Well Connected Family

Last week, democratic presidential candidate, Barak Obama was in Oregon to campaign. He had 3 scheduled stops (Portland, Salem, and Eugene). On the way from Salem to Eugene, they made a stop...

Imagine going to your favorite pizza place for a late lunch with your family. You are sitting there enjoying a nice slice of pie with your family and it takes a few minutes to realize how busy the place is getting. Then, you look up and see 3 black SUV's pull up and after a brief Martix flash back, you realize that the secret service has just walked in and are now making their rounds. Next a huge bus pulls up outside with OBAMA `08 written on it. Barack Obama wants to have lunch with you!!! (American Dream Pizza, Corvallis OR - Go BEAVS!!!!)

My brother and sister in law were shocked as they and their four sons were joined for lunch by the future president of the United States. The picture shows Owen Stevenson (8 month old Twin - Owen and Tyler) my nephew!

I am glad to know that people in high places seek out members of my family for photo ops! This picture was all over the AP circuit!

Lil' Clippers

The moment I walked in the front door I was pissed. I hate that feeling of "why didn't I think of this?" It seemed like the most obvious good idea I had ever seen. We were taking my son for his first hair cut and this place has kids cuts down pat!

Decorated in bright colors, toys for the kids to climb on as they wait, video games: heaven for a pre-schooler. Perhaps the pest part of this place is that each barber's chair is topped with a plastic car or rocket ship (the kind you used to pay a quarter to ride at the grocery store). Each station has its own TV so that that the kid can be distracted by the movie of their choice... its so obviously a good idea that it drove me crazy the whole time I was sitting there!

I remember the first time that I put one of those cardboard sleeves on my cup of coffee at Starbucks... same feeling, why didn't I think of that? It just seemed like such an obvious idea. Isn't that what makes the best inventions: an obvious improvement to something that everyone does/needs?

So, from now on, I will keep my radar up and the next time I start wishing something could be improved, just a little, I will pay attention and maybe you will find yourself saying: "why didn't I think of that!"

All Day in a Limo

Yesterday I spent the whole day in a Limo. I've never done that before. We drove up to Puyallup, WA to see their YMCA and to use it as a reference point for the Y that we hope to build as part of the new development that is going in to replace our current church facility.
The YMCA was impressive! It was an exciting environment to experience. The staff were all cheerful and smiling, there were tons of people everywhere, and it had a great energy to the place.

We spent about an hour and a half there touring the entire place (gym, pool, daycare, weight room, indoor track, racquetball, gymnastics gym, meeting rooms, locker rooms, teen room...) and talking to the staff. It is top notch all the way! I hope that whatever our end product looks like, we meet or exceed this facility. When that happens, it will be the place to be!

Riding in a Limo allowed our team to have a great conversation on the way up and back. But, arriving at a YMCA and representing a church... getting out of a limo doesn't help the stereotypes. But, hey, the whole trip was donated, so I guess I can get over it!

Putting the sink in

Today I started the first of the many projects. Ever since we bought the house 2 years ago, we have been planning to put a sink in the downstairs common area. It was already rough plumbed, but the watter lines had not yet been put in. So, today, my brother in law (who is a home improvement veteran) came over and gave me some advice about my plumbing needs.

Feeling inspired, I went to George Morelan Plumbing with my son and bought my supplies (note - don't take tired children to stores with long lines!!!). With no more excuses left, I began my project.

Basically, we are putting in a cabinet with a sink. Nothing massive, but it takes a while to get back in the DIY saddle. At this point I have it mounted and rough cut. Can I say that cutting the whole for the basin was a pain in the butt?!?! There is less than a half inch margin for error around the whole thing!

Tomorrow Rick and I should be able to get the plumbing done, and my first project should be mostly done!

The Adventure Begins

This morning we met with our realtor to begin the process of getting our house listed and on the market. She showed us a few of the comps in our area and the information was a bit discouraging. Normally she would pick 3 or 4 recent sales of similar houses to help us to get an idea of what we should ask. The problem is that there aren't any. The market has been so slow that she had to really stretch to find anything similar.

There is a 14 month supply of houses on the market in the Portland area. Which essentially means that it would take that long for everything on the market currently to sell, and we are planning to jump into that same pool... not good news.

However, our ridiculously huge house is well built, upgraded and on a large lot. So at least its not a cookie cutter place. For the right family this home would be a major bargain.

On the up side, thinking about selling your home really makes you look at it with different eyes. The 'to do' lists are growing, and many things that we have put off are now getting started. We have been planning to add a sink downstairs since we moved in and now it has all been purchased. The plan is to get started tomorrow morning with some minor plumbing work, and then to install the vanity, sink, and badda bing: New Sink!

That's the plan any way. We will see how it plays out!

Door to Door

Over the past few days, 3 door to door salesmen have come by. They were selling vinyl windows, lawn care, and some sort of philanthropy for disabled people. I actually just closed the door on the window salesman and I felt horrible. It's raining hard and he had a huge drip of water on his nose... he was soaked! His tag-a-long trainee looked as if she was frozen solid and I felt so bad that I tried to let them down easy as I said no thanks.

I seem to remember saying "try to stay dry..." hope that didn't sound condescending.

It has to be tough doing that kind of sales work. I had a friend in college that spent an entire summer selling reference books door to door. He literally walked through the tread on his shoes! The money was terrible and his self-esteem was so low when he got home that it took him 6 months to recover.

If the spent the same amount of time at an hourly job, wouldn't that be a better use of their time. I suppose it must work sometimes. We did buy a freezer full of meats from a guy last summer (best free range stuff I've ever tasted!).

If you are not asking for a couple of eggs from a neighbor or wearing a girl scout uniform, I think most people would prefer if you let us find you!

What made it fall apart today...

As soon as I merged onto the freeway on the way home from class, something felt wrong. It wasn't overt or obvious, but there was a sluggishness when I changed lanes.

A couple of miles later I changed lanes again, and something just seemed off to me. There was no loud noises and my passengers encouraged me to keep driving. But I had a strange feeling, so I pulled over and got out. There was smoke coming from the left rear wheel. Not a good sign.

I called a mechanic friend (great to have one of these btw) and he said it might be the bearings or a loose axle assembly. He suggested that I jack it up and check the lug nuts and the wheel to see if they were loose. So, I found the jack and placed myself between multi-ton vehicles flying by at 65mph and my car (I hate that feeling) and started to raise the car. Sure enough, after a few minutes of playing roulette with oncoming traffic, the tire was off the ground and it was VERY loose. It wouldn't have been much longer and the entire wheel would have come off... and this blog might be something very different... which of course got me thinking.

What else in my world is just about to fall apart? What's the difference between something working perfectly fine today, and tomorrow its useless or even dangerous? This has been an ongoing question for the past few years living in a 30 year old home. Most household appliances last 20-25 years. We have been replacing everything: oven, garage door openers, water heaters, furnace condenser pumps.... It just makes me wonder what other things in my world are on their last legs? How dangerous will it be when it finally stops working? Will it just die, or will it fall apart in some dramatic fashion?

I am not prone to living in fear, but it astonishes me how thin the line is between functionality and dysfunction. I suppose that applies to most things come to think of it.

Well, I encourage you to keep your radar up and alert. Trust your instincts and intuition. If something seems off, look into it. I can only imagine what would have happened if I had just kept driving.

Amazing Grace

I just finished watching an incredibly inspiring movie. Amazing Grace is the story of William Willburforce, the man who devoted his life to the abolition of slavery in England. A must see movie about a truly great man!

Time for a Change?

How do you know when its time for a change? Does the desire grow slowly over time, or does it come upon you all of a sudden?

I have always tended to be a bit of an idealist. I have a hard time settling. Yet, like most people, over time things seem to become more normal or more comfortable.

My wife and I stumbled upon a home the other day. It has been vacant for over a year, is in a prime location, and could hardly be more perfect for our unusual family situation. However, the amount of work it will take to even be able to see if making a change is possible is overwhelming to me.

There is also the subtle question of influence. Many times in my life I have been able to bring about the change that I hope to see by sheer hard work, tenacity, and influence. But there is often a bitter taste in my mouth wondering whether it was meant to be or if I just "worked it".

Some refer to this as the concept of fate vs. free will.... God's plans vs. my plans... there are many areas where this tension comes to light, but I often see the potential to "work it" when change is an issue.

The questions are many: do I want to work it? should I work it if I could? if it takes a lot to work it, is it worth the effort? will I regret it if I don't try?

Perhaps this is just self-indulgent naval gazing, but I find it important to lay hold of my motives and desires before I commit myself to action.

One Good Turn...

The other day, as I was returning from the store, I pulled up to my house to see my neighbor walking away pushing his lawnmower. I thought this looked strange, so I stepped out to investigate and was blown away. He had mowed my entire front lawn.

My first reaction shock. Then my mind started racing as I tried to remember how my lawn looked before I left. Had it been that bad? Did he mow my lawn because I wasn't taking care of my yard to his standards???

I caught up to him and thanked him for his efforts. Quickly he replied that it was no big deal, and that he was simply returning a favor. Then it dawned on me that 2 months ago I had helped him tow his car home after work when it had died on the highway.

I had completely forgotten about what I had done and it never even occurred to me that this might be some benevolent gesture. Its funny how all of the possible reasons I could come up with for doing something like this were negative... not sure what that says about me...

Generosity of the kind my neighbor demonstrated makes me uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful, but I have no idea how to respond. Is a simple "thank you" enough? Or now do I owe him again???

If one good turn deserves another, then where does it all end? Or is that the point? That serving one another, in the best sense, is an on going process.

Saying NO!

Tonight, as my daughter was getting ready for bed, she threw a tantrum. We were almost finished with her regular routine, all three stories had been read. It was time to brush her teeth and we were going over the next steps.

Usually this means a 'once-upon-a-time' story and prayers, then lights out. From time to time we negotiate a variation: shadow puppets, a puzzle, back rub... Tonight, she wanted to do a puzzle. But, it was getting late and sometimes puzzles can take a while. Especially if they are missing pieces. So, I said no.

She reacted like a prisoner pleading for her life: "PLEASE, DADDY, PLEASE!!!!" I'm sorry, I said, but no. At this point, parenting becomes diplomacy. The lines have been drawn and the sides have been taken. The volume goes up, the tears begin to flow, and the passion and frustration at the injustice being done become hysterics.

It was interesting how clear the options became: I could give in to her demands and let her do the puzzle and it would all be over... so simple, so easy. Or I could stand my ground and maintain my position. In some ways, I love that she is willing to fight for what she wants. I never want her to lose that passion. But if I gave in, I would be creating a monster. Tonight is one thing, the problem becomes that she will expect me to cave the next night as well.

My inconsistency, becomes, consistently expected.

On the one hand, it is a bit arbitrary on my part to say no. At times in the past I have agreed to a bargain. I am certain that I will do so again in the future. Yet letting her think that she can change my mind at will is giving her too much power. And once you give that away it takes a long time to get it back (check out an episode of the Supernanny)!

On the other hand, it would have only cost me a couple of extra minutes of my time to let her do her puzzle, and it would have saveed my wife and I a lot of grief. Not to mention all of my daughters tears and frustration.

I'm not sure it really matters what I could have done. I made a decision, and once I said no, I was committed to that decision.

We have a saying at our house: "I can't give a whiner what she wants." If it is applied in time, it has been an effective tool at staving off many tantrums. But logic and reason are seldom employed in a child's brain. Especially when they hear the word NO, and that only supports the truth of the saying.

I don't like to say NO. I would much rather say YES. But I love my daughter too much to stop being a parent just because it would easy.

So, to the temptation to just give in, I say: NO!!!

Multiple Choice

I just finished an exam for my Church History class. It was going well until I got to the multiple choice questions. Why is that a multiple choice answer seems so difficult?
Which of the following are not true? Which of course implies that more than one is...
How many of the following people are...? Which means you have to know about all of them...
I suppose its not so bad if there are only 3 possible choices. One is obviously wrong, and then at least you have a 50/50 chance. But as soon as I see D) and E) my eye starts to twitch!!!

D and E are never good. They always seem to be some ghastly combination of death by logic!

d) both A and B; e) all of the above.

It drives me CRAZY I tell you! The amount of time I spent thinking and over thinking those questions was ridiculous!

And then, after you think you've finally gotten the answer and are about to move on, there's that voice.... you know the one. Its your high school English teacher reminding you that you should go with your "first impression". Or that pimply faced nerd who always got such great grades that swore he could prove statistically that "C" is by far the most common answer.

I hate multiple choice questions! It seems like I can always find a way to convince myself that any of the answers might be right under certain circumstances. And then there's the trick play. I start trying to get into my prof's head and start wondering if he is asking trick questions...

This all goes to show that I have a significant problem: option paralysis.

Too many choices mean too many possible solutions, and my capacity to convince myself of something is staggering.

Why can't all the questions be short answer? At least then, if you write enough, you're sure to stumble over the right amount of BS!!!

May all your tests be True/False and short answer!

The Fast Begins

I have an addictive personality. If 1 is good, 2 is better, and 3... well, you get the idea. Moderation, discipline, and delay of gratification are all things that I value, but they are also things that I really struggle with.

So, this lent season (which began last week on Ash Wednesday) my wife and I decided to fast two things that have gotten a bit out of hand for us: TV and Fast Food.

Practically, this means that anything with a drive through is off limits for 40 days. And as far as TV is concerned, we are limiting ourselves to 1 night per week. That's it! And for people with as many shows to watch as us, that's a real sacrifice!

So, we are 4 days into it and things are going well so far. In fact, I am off to play a card game (Quiddler) with my wife!

Blogs, Blogs, and More Blogs...

It seems like everyone has a blog these days. It's a great way to stay connected to people and see what's going on in their world... so, I figure I'll give it a try.

Some people write blogs that focus on the world of ideas. Other people use blogs as a way to keep a sort of journal about their lives and what's going on for them.

I see value in both styles, and since my world is often a life of the mind, I am certain that there well be many thoughts and ideas to go along with all of the events!

So.... off we go!